Wow, I completely forgot this blog even existed. I recently read through the posts. I was so disjointed. Disjointed, but motivated. In an odd sense of the word.
It's been over two years now since I moved and began living alone. Since then, quite a bit has happened. Where do I begin?
From immediate memory, a few days prior to moving here, I was in the midst of writing 365 Horror Shorts. I gave it a rest after I missed a day. After moving here, I picked it back up and attempted to catch up the days so it looked seamless. Of course, that didn't work. I was writing 3 stories a day and eventually became burnt out.
I wrote short stories every once in a while until I didn't. I shifted over to doing an audio drama called Twisted Curiosities. I got a few episodes in before the show got canceled because the people I hired as voice actors didn't want to submit their voice lines until I kept nagging them.
My latest project, however, is only here to motivate me to write better and encourage something I never do, which is revising a first draft. It's helping me to see the mistakes I make while writing and seeing what I need to improve on. Also it's giving me a fresher view on what a rough draft can be, which can be a mix of a shorthand story mixed with hints of brainstorming.
***
Other than my projects, in the last month, I've been pushing myself to quit using porn and getting myself off to it. It's an addiction I've had for several years now and it has only made my life miserable. It's stolen my motivation away, as well as granted me the misery of brain fog.
I've deleted every sign of it from my phone and computer. I don't need the distractions, I just need to focus on my projects. Eventually, I can focus on the books I want to write and other projects I want to work on. I don't expect that just quitting porn is going to be an automatic fix for my life. Along side this, I have to figure out how to wake myself up in a positive mindset and keep myself feeling happy.
As far as any kind of motivation for future me, I will say this. Life will get hard. Man, does it get difficult to trudge through. But you've been through a lot. You have faced your worst days and lived to see tomorrow. The pain of now doesn't last.
It's interesting the way we perceive time. When we are at our best, time moves quickly. When we are at our worst, every moment lasts a lifetime. We wish desperately for it to be the opposite, but maybe there's a reason for it. Life isn't meant to be easy. We are made to cherish the good moments by stopping and not letting a moment be taken for granted. When we're at our lowest and wish for time to move faster, we are given the chance to see what is wrong in the moment so that we can learn from it and make a change so it never happens again.
Life is a tricky thing, but it has plenty of lessons for us, especially when we want them the least. Everyday is an opportunity to become a better you and form a better life.
Chose love and understanding, not hate. Because looking at the negative takes little effort, but looking at the positive will make you a happier person.
Comments
Post a Comment