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6-12-2022 [The Horrendous Journey of the Mind]

 I'm glad to see you smiling because you deserve to smile. Just getting the laughter out and feeling the joy, it's an indescribably fantastic feeling. It's like a warmth has finally been invited into a void of darkness.

It's easy to get stolen away by the dark thoughts. Because those thoughts can be powerful. The thoughts distract you with anxieties, and as your attention is stolen away, it pulls you down into the hole that you can't escape from. 

I know how tough it is because, for several months, I have been going through this same process of having to battle my own mind in order to maintain a barely functional existence.

The battle with my own mind has exhausted me so much that interacting with people the way I want to is almost impossible. And the second guesses and the eyes burning into the back of your head don't help in the slightest.

I can't say I have any advice, but sometimes it is okay to not have all of the answers. This is life. You aren't supposed to have everything figured out. Life doesn't have a happily ever after, life is the journey we take so we can share our experiences, the good and the bad.

They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. As much as you've heard that line until it's meaningless, look at it in a new light. Even though life throws tough things at you, things that you think you'll ever survive or make your way out of, you will. It won't happen in a day or even a month. It could take years to gradually climb that hill but you will reach its peak and you will see the sun shining through at the end.

Make your way over that hill, and come back stronger than you were before. If it helps, along the journey, think back at all the other times you've faced difficult times. You're not stuck in that place anymore. You're somewhere new. You're in a place that will make you stronger, a place you'll learn from. In 3 years' time, you'll look back and hate the time you spent here, but be incredibly grateful that you survived it.

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